Friday, February 7, 2014

The century dept store peculiar 14.... radio blog ..

Episode 1...... Beginnings .....

On the 14th floor of the Century Dept store in West side, London is a peculiar sales Dept ..
Lets listen in .......

An effeminate Salesclerk..by the name of Ian is leading new employee Simon Lawson
around the quite eerie but cozy sales floor ....

Well...I must tell you the history of this place, my lad, it's quite juicy ...
ok..fire way Simon replied ....
Ian blushed ...aren't you precoius ....now let us begin .....

This Dept store is just like any other, except this one floor
You see....one day in 1936.... this department just was forgotten..
The head of this floor, never bothered to ask why customers stopped coming
He just decided to create new buisness with ingenuity ....

What did he do.....drag people off the street? ... asked Simon...
oh..no...Ian volunteered ...he went out and bought very unique items
things that were quite ....peculiar, to say the least... Ian quipped
such as? .... Simon queried .....

Chinese daggers ....Paintings that were said to be haunted...pipes that never
went out ...Books that could be read back to front ...
He even brought back a mummy from Egyptian times ....Ian added
How did he manage that? Simon asked

Oh ....you'd be surprised what you can buy in the London black market,
I once bought a tea kettle that played God save the queen ....Ian giggled

So this department slowly by word of mouth, became relevant again
And no one knows to this day, why the fourteenth floor was suddenly forgotton..

Ian added:You know I came in for a pair of winter wellies ten Christmas eves ago
I felt compelled to go up to this floor ...next thing I knew
I'm a salesperson, like rip van Winkle, actually Ian added...

So that's your brief history lesson, there's a test later
You're kidding right? Simon asked
I might be ....but you never know.....
Oh....Come on the girls are late ...

Girls? ..... Ian straightened his hair ...in the antique mirror
Oh...yes ....Miss.Bombast ..I mean Bentley and pippy Montgomery, yes, Pippa
Ian went behind a counter and pulled out a dart,
See that dartboad ....When there's a tie for customers, we throw darts
Who ever hits closest to the red center, gets the sale ...or trys to...Ian added..

This place is peculiar .....Simon stammered

Yes...yes ...it is....quite right, quite right ...

Welcome to the peculiar static........