The world won't go out with a bang....but with a computer virus whisper

My laptop got infected....I mean really infected...I had pop ups about erectile disfuction
to how to marry a rich old tycoon.....I downloaded a torrent of a horror movie....
Then within five seconds I felt like the trojan horse had rammed through the gates

I actually shook my laptop.....GeT OUT Of MY COMPUTER YOU
YOU BASTARDS....THAT is the polite version.

I know now the third world war will not be guns and bombs and nuclear weapons
it will be passive agressive computer virus warfare....I mean
It works....

The power grid gets pulled down...we Americans love our power and air conditioning
no more internet....net flix .....or web cam porn.....sorry....

You get the drift....

wait.another pop up.......

Space crawl radio series....episode 2..Fly me to the moon or Vegas

When we last tuned in to our three convict astronauts,well not astronauts,more like British lab rats
Reg,Jasper and Tiny were asked to turn off the cruise control by Harold Hunt....
Lands end ground control chief....Let's listen in.....Static....hiss

You want us to steer this bloody thing,Where?...asked Regg.....
Just towards the right....can you see that highway....?...Harold  asked.
What bloody highway....All I see is space and stars...Regg bemoaned.
It's called the Gary glitter exspress super highway...Harold announced
Gary bloody Glitter,that bastard...that ain't fuuny mate....Regg roared

Well,it was a sort of inside joke,but it stuck...and that's the name.....
More like highway to ruddy hell....Tiny interjected....
I like that one song...they play at the soccer matches...Jasper added
That's one strike against you mate,,,Regg glared.....

NOW,let's begin this minor diversion....Harold announced...
Alright...Where is the cruise control switch,mate?....Regg...asked
It says cruise control,you stoopid wanker...Nigel replied
You....ruddy farott face,you wait till I get back....Regg bellowed...

Nigel....behave!......Harold scolded,
I I can't help it,he's so thick.....Nigel cackled....ahr....arh.....

Forget about Nigel....he has no decorum...Harold announced
He won't have a head when I'm dun wiv im.......Regg......said deathly....

Now,now,remember the british slogan....Carry on....
Is that still it..?...I thought it was King George proved it....

Proved what? Tiny queried...
I don't bloody know,he was before our time...his mum Kate was hot though
Regg replied....

Arr...yeah....she lived until she was one hundred and five...too bad about King William
Fancy jumping out of an airplane at the age of eighty five....Jasper sighed...

Monarchists....bleh....Regg grumbled....

Bang....the space rocket ...ship....whatever....starts to shake

You have to act fast.....men....Harold ordered...

Get ready to hit the switch.....

bloody hell.....

yeah

I'm still hungry....Tiny


static    hiss pop.........

Space Crawl radio series episode 1 To boldly snore where no ones snored before

The year is 3012....
Great Britain launches itself into the space race by building with scrap metal from American and Russian
rockets and shuttles,a modern,fully loaded,cruise control explorer called The Calipso Minor...

Instread of risking a highly skilled British citizen...Three criminals

Regg Putney....35....purse snatcher...a terrible one

Jasper Potts......30...computer hacker...well,he broke into his own account

Tiny Mason....37...Grifter and part time boxer.....well.he isn't very tiny...

are allowed to serve the rest of thier sentences up in space...sort of guinea pigs

but don't tell them that.....Let's listen in.....shh....

Calipso Minor,this is lands end control.....Do you read?....

ARR...Bloody hell fire....what the bloody hell time is it,you wankers?...Red bemoans

It's ten o clock in the morning you lazy sods......

Who you calling a lazy sod...who is this anyway?

I'm sorry about my assistent,Mr.Regg,he is my assistant,Nigel...Farrot....

I bet he has a face like a .....

NOW,NOW...this is Harold Hunt....how is everybody up there?

Hey!...WAKE UP....ground control is on the line...Regg wakes up the other men...

Ground control to major TOM......Jasper starts to sing......

Eh,that's funny...hey...Tiny....wake up...you big horses arse......

WAA....Tiny bangs his large,bald head against a steel .....

Arr.....bloody hell.....is it breakfast?

Breakfast....lunch....dinner....it's all the bloody same up here....Regg quips

I need my bangers and mash....Tiny growls....

Exscuse me,Tiny...this is Harold Hunt,there are banger and mash consolidated packets dinners

Where?...Tiny looks around the ship

There is a large...drawer with a big R on it...for rations

Dumb criminals....Nigel interjects....

That's enough...Nigel...Harold scolds him...

ah....yeah....What do I DO.......its just a silver packet...

Just press the gold tab on top of packet...it will inflate and you can eat it

The whole packet?....Tiny sounds puzzled....

No,Tiny,,,,just the contents inside....Harold...said calmly....
Tiny pushes the gold tab...and the packet inflates and shakes itself

Look at that....Ain't modern stuff...marvelous...Regg interjected.

Tiny smelled the food....then gobbled it in one ......

Easy there....you might get a bad case of the gassees.....Jasper grined

Tiny....belched.....Not too bad....not as good as my mothers,but not awful either..

Now...Now Tiny is fed...What you guys want from us?...Regg asked.

Yes,Regg,as you were told ...your ship is on automatic cruise control...

Yeah.....?.....

Harold....coughed...we need you to take it off for a minute or two...

What?!...I never flown nuttin in my bloody life...except a bouncer or two...

Jasper and Tiny and Regg stared at each other......

It will only take a moment or two...we need you to turn to the right

And what is on the right?....Regg asked

Your destiny.......Harold announced


Oh,bugger......


static.....hiss........

From the creator of The peculiar 14th floor dept store

Radio blog

Comes a sci fi radio comedy that will
Explode your ears or mind

Join the Calypso wonder as it travels through space

With Regg......Jasper ........and tiny

And robot,well he doesn't have a name

Yet....so join the fun

Or as Regg says:

Or else.....

Coming very soon:Space Crawl radio blog sci fi comedy

Join three master criminals ...well not masters
Three clueless prisoners
Sent to space
In a spaceship salvaged from US and Russian parts

As for Queen and country
They discover ....not that much ....

In a galaxy not far from

Xanadu .....

Hey,mate ...Is that a real place ?
Be quiet ....I haven't thought your names up yet

Call me Reg....or else .....

The graveyard philosophy club discuss marriage

Ah.Marriage.Clive mumbled as he lit his pipe ..

An outdated institution

Says the single boy.....Sarah giggled

You should join a monastery  Clivey ....Tallulah added

He wouldn't last a forknight ,he thinks out loud ,Keith added

Your wrong,my filtered cigarette friends,Test me

OK.Time him Tallulah ....starting now

Hey Clive,I just read in Sci fi news
The new Star Wars
Will have
Eewoks .....

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell no,we shouldn't go and invade another country

Not again.No more invading countries that are divided by
Religious and secular divisions.

Enough is enough.
Our troops come home to a second rate

VA administration.

We have to fix things here .
Home base.

Schools
Roads
Bridges

Universal healthcare
Not pay as you go
so hmo's can fatten thier overbloated CEO's

We cannot save every country

Especially ones
That don't even
Want
Our
Sacrifices

To my readers in Ukraine and Germany.....Hello.....

Zhank you for reading the ramblings of a constipated,sometimes American.....

I hope my words make you laugh or cry,well not cry....but think...God...why am I reading this guy

I should go walk the dog...or buy a newspaper or watch the soccer match at the local pub

or ....Cheers......

Don't let the Howard Beals speak for you,and damn us all to hell

Things are bad,everyone knows,things are bad
please,just leave us alone in our living rooms
I want you to get mad,I'm a human being God Damitt!!
Say,I'm mad as hell.and I'm not to take it anymore

Network...words by Paddy Chayefsky....all rights preserved.

A
Voice

Everyone has one
unless you are born without a tongue
but everyone has an inner voice
that screams
for the eternal sky.

Some voices
speak louder than others
they rally
bully
Tell you how to think
what to wear
whom to like
whom to pray to

Seasons greetings
instead
of
Merry Christmas.

But whom made them God?
not God,surely
If you believe in a God
it is your right
not to.

It doesn't matter
where your voice
broadcasts from
the barrio
the tenements
the skyscrapers
mansions
with gated fences

One thing should be
Paramount

The truth

It is hard to speak it
when it is unpopular
to point a finger
at injustice
and raise a red flag

It can isolate a person
make a life uncomfortable.

But it must be the cornerstone
of any great nation.

The problem is
we fail these people
that try
to tell it.

Karen Silkwood
brought radiation home from work
and blew the whistle
now
believed
to be murdered.

Crystal Lee Sutton
the inspiration
for the movie Norma Ray
didn't die
from a union busting
bullet
but from brain cancer
that spread
because of an insurance company
that refused to pay for her treatments.

And now

Snowden

Some call him a patriot
a whistle blower
a freedom of privacy
advocate.

but where is he?


Russia

Putin's Precious.

He must have his day
but in front of our courts

on our soil.

Let his voice be heard
with a threat of jail time.

The truth is uncomfortable

It is Isolating

But it must be spoken
regardless of the pain.

Don't let the Howard Beals
Bill o Reilly's
Rush Limbaugh
Howard Sterns
Oprah Winfry's
Bill Marrs

speak for you

If our country
ends up like the final scene
in The Planet of the apes movie
with the Statue of Liberty
buried in the sand

You finnaly really did it
You blew it up
God Damn You
All to
Hell!

It will be on those

who refused

to say Nothing

When a

Voice

needed

to

be

raised

Andrew Lawson.

So many damn guns in my country,when will it ever end?

There have been like five massacres within two months in my country.
This is outrageous...how do gun owners sleep at night?....Oh,fine Andrew,
I keep it under my bed,next to my copy of the end times and build yourself
a bomb shelter.

Freedom of speech,my ass
YOU don't need a semi automatic weapon and arsenals in your bloody living rooms
OH,what happens if a store is robbed'Andrew and I pull out my private gun
and shoot the robber?

YOU might miss and Hit ME

That's what....

Oh,I feel safe

a brave soul like yourself and Charlton Heston

is protecting our nation

You know

I'm being

sarcastic

right?

 

I will return to my blog

my apologies to anyone checking on this blog...I have been writing poetry and a ...
family crisis happpened.

I might tweek it a little...hey.my picture is up  tangled up in blue...ha

So Tune in this and my sixties blog the Peculiar 14TH FLOOR RADIO BLOG....

I will write some new material ....so come back,world......